Birthdayz .. .. ..

I hav thiz Curse, that If someone tells me hiz/her Birthday, I cant forget It. A while ago, I wished my favorite person In the whole world, a very Happy 15th Birthday. Thiz Iz one person who haz a Birthday, I want to remember. We dont meet In-person so we talk via messages. Giving her my best wishes, I turn to face my Own Date Of Birth. My 1st thought Iz, "how many people would remember the day thiz year?"

I wonder how many people mean It when they say "Happy Birthday." Seriously, I've seen hundreds of people at Birthday parties, nd they all say It. Do they really meant It or are they tryin to be Polite? I'll be honest, I didnt wish my brother a happy birthday thiz year.

Why? I hav alwayz Envied my brother, he seems to be capable of doin everythin Perfectly!! He controls my life. I get the feeling he doesnt want me to be "Me." Thiz year, I didnt wish him because I didnt want to lie.

I like Birthdayz, az long az they are nOt mine. Others happiness haz become a little Important to me Over the years. It'll be my Birthday in 48hrs, nd I dont want Anyone to wish me unless they truly mean It.

The 1st Post

Itz been a while since I wrote the title for thiz Post, but I didnt kno what to write. Im nOt exactly a "Happy" person. These are My Silent Screamz, nd Im thinkin, " Can I shout out all my thoughtz nd feelingz?" One way to find out .. .. ..

To tell the truth, Im a Pessimistic nObody. Yes I admit it. I seem to think about stuff too much. And I cant seem to do nythin right. Either I mess it up or Itz done wrong. Lately I've stop tyrin to be "Somebody". I mean, why start somthin when I kno Im goin to fail? so I dont really put an Effort to succeed.

I have to tell you, Im nOt good with people. Im a Quite person, I like thingz simple. But my life haznt been az been "Simple". I dont hav alot of friendz, Im nOt exactly Out-goin either. But I hav alot of thingz Inside me. And I dont think I can hold It in nymore. I'll let these thoughtz nd feelingz out soon enough, one by one.

I dont kno If people would read thiz or nOt .. .. .. but I'll leave all my thoughtz nd feelingz here before my time Iz Done!!